Some (Vanilla) Things About Myself

I thought it would be a good idea to let you all know a bit more about me. I tend to be secretive and I don’t usually talk about my self at length so please excuse the disjointed nature of this particular post.


I am a bisexual male.

I am attracted above all to femininity in all its forms, from women to crossdressers, sissies, and trans women. I exclusively date women and trans women though, and with crossdressers and sissies, I have my fun.

I have never been classically attracted to men, though I have experimented with men in ample amounts. In fact, the only time I’m ever really attracted to a man is when it is a man I consider to be just leagues above myself in terms of physicality, intellect, wealth and masculinity. I guess I simply see most men as being unattractive aesthetically-speaking.


I love music. I listen to almost every genre though I will always love heavy metal more than any other genre. Recently I’ve been listening to a lot of Synthwave/Retrowave because it takes the best parts of 80s synthesizers and combines it with heavy electronica. I’m also a big fan of any kind of progressive music (which is music characterized by the use of odd time signatures, frequent tempo changes, and long-form compositions).

I’ve seen every living Beatle perform, I’ve seen every living member of Pink Floyd live. I feel an almost spiritual energy whenever I see a live performance. There’s just something magical about being surrounded by so many people sharing a common interest. It’s a sort of harmony that I must assume is at the heart of religious experience.

Some bands I listen to almost daily: Slayer, Tool, The Doobie Brothers, Opeth, Animals as Leaders, Feed Me, Pendulum, Johny Cash, Born of Osiris, Avenged Sevenfold, Lamb of God, Dance with the Dead, Perturbator, and Jackson Browne.

I’m also a big cinephile. I love horror, action, comedies, low and high-brow sci-fi, and documentaries above all else. If you haven’t seen and liked John Wick we can’t be friends. If you didn’t laugh once during Thor: Ragnarok you may be a rock. Children of Men is one of my favorite movies of all time. Grizzly Man makes me very sad. Meat Eater is a must watch if you are into the outdoors.


I used to play a lot of video games but I have since lost a lot of free time. I used to play League of Legend a lot and I was able to get to Platinum in the original Starcraft 2. If I do play a video game nowadays, it is probably Dark Souls, Diablo 2/3, FTL, or MtGO/Magic: Arena.

Speaking of Magic: the Gathering (MtG), I am an ex-sponsored player (I played for a local game store) of the world’s most popular trading card game. What I like about MtG is that it is a highly complex game with multiple variables to track at any given point that rewards skill but still leaves some odds to luck. Think poker meets chess. I also like that the cards themselves are subject to the same rules of supply/demand that economies must follow, which means the cards are worth money. As addictions go, it’s not a bad one to have because you can always get some of your money back at worst and make a nice profit at best.

I read all the time. So far this year (January-June 2018) I’ve read 12 books. I used to read a lot of fiction but now I read much more non-fiction. My favorite series are the 203x Metro series, The Expanse, Game of Thrones, and H.P. Lovecraft’s short stories. As for non-fiction, I’ve been reading a lot of business, psychology, philosophy, marketing, and history. I recommend everyone read Freakonomics and How to Win Friends and Influence People as they are classics and hold a lot of wisdom and knowledge.

I generally spend an hour when I visit a bookstore to resupply my book fix. I always get caught up in trying to decide what particular book I want to tackle next. There are just so many interesting things to learn about and I have trouble picking just one area. I love learning about anything and everything. As I’ve stated before, knowledge is the ultimate power.


I want to become a hunter. I think that our modern link to food is weird. If you are like me, you have no real idea of where your food came from, who grew it, how it was taken care of, etc. I believe that a responsible meat-eater has the duty to kill, quarter, butcher, and cook his own meal at least once in his life. I think that doing so adds this spiritual element from our food that is normally missing. You worked hard to spot, stalk and kill your prey. You worked hard to prepare the meat and leave nothing to waste. You work even harder dragging the hundreds of pounds of meat back to camp.

I don’t want to do stand, trap, or any kind of bait hunting either. I want to do glass and stalk hunts, wherein you find some high ground from which you use long-range optical equipment to initially spot large prey animals (elk, deer, moose, etc.) and slowly begin to approach. This type of hunting to me is the most ethical way to hunt since you are combining the stalking of traditional predators with the deadliness of modern firearms. When done properly, the animal never even knew you were there, doesn’t suffer at all. It dies in nature, doing whatever it was meant to do.

After that comes the dirty ordeal of quartering the meat and returning it to your camp/home. We often conveniently forget that meat comes from animals and that someone has to cut them up, gut them, take all the edible parts and organs, skin the hide, etc. I want to do it at least once so that I know where a large part of many of my meals has come from and that I know of the bloody work involved.


I’ve always felt like an outsider and I think that I am in many ways. I’ve always had difficulty finding a place anywhere which is why I usually choose to make my own place. I was always too loud for quiet groups, too quiet for loud groups. I’m too proper to be a metalhead, too rough to be a preppy boy. I’m too liberal for conservatives and too conservative for liberals.

I don’t think I’m even meant to fit in. At this point in my life, I’m realizing that my options for the future are what I can provide for myself, not what others can offer me. I think that I am meant to be an entrepreneur and do things MY way.

I would rather be struggling by own merit then profiting off of someone else’s.


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