My story
I was a very angry and violent child.
I got so many detentions for fighting, not doing homework or papers, for talking back that my parents would celebrate when I didn’t get into trouble.
There came a point that my own patriarch had had enough.
He said to me “If you don’t calm the fuck down son and stop getting into trouble, I will make you calm down.”
He was the kind of man that rarely got mad, so he said that in a quiet, dominant way that could never be ignored and could put fear into the bravest heart.
Suffice to say, I listened.
I quieted down, I stopped getting in so much trouble.
I began to internalize my anger and emotions so that they still persisted, just hidden deep down.
Fast forward to high school (I live in Quebec which has elementary school grades kindergarten to grade 6, high school is grades seven to eleven, then 2 years of CEGEP before University like the rest of you).
I would wear predominantly black clothes and stood out because I was tall and cringey.
I was also a dumb romantic type, writing poems for the prettiest girls in my grade.
I think it may have even worked had I not been so damn awkward, so damn nice and pretentious.
Fortunately, they rejected me, leading me to hate myself.
When I say I hated myself, I am greatly understating the level of animosity I had towards myself.
There wasn’t a single thing I was satisfied with about myself.
I decided I would just not play the game everyone else was playing anymore.
Instead of trying to be nice, I said “fuck it, I’m good enough the way I am. If I can’t find someone to be with, it’s because they can’t see the greatness that’s before them”.
I had decided that I was done doing anyone favors just because.
I decided that I wasn’t going to remain silent when others voiced something I disagreed with.
I would not step down from conflict to avoid it but would fight righteously.
I would say what I mean and mean what I say.
I never would have imagined the sense of freedom not being nice could give.
I found myself feeling something I had not felt in a while: happiness.
I had found that by just being myself, that by not censoring myself I became weirdly attractive.
I was able to have sex with more people than I ever would have imagined possible.
Women and men approach me, drawn to me like moths to a flame.
I had discovered my Shadow and would no longer keep it hidden from the world.
The world could only appreciate this newly arisen warrior, this patriarch meant for conquest.
What is a nice guy?
A nice guy is a male that has been corrupted by a terrible notion: the idea that being harmless is the highest level of moral virtue a male can achieve.
It is a popular idea that has begun to permeate everything around us and has ruined many men’s lives.
The idea works like this: by being nice, you can show that you are someone that is good, that by not being bad you are de facto virtuous and thus better than everyone else.
It is an insidious form of moral grandstanding and is generally combined with activism, veganism, feminism, and communism.
According to the logic of being a nice guy, being unable to harm, being weak and passive, are equivalent to heroic actions.
All that is required to be good, according to them, is not to actively engage in evil.
If you show everyone how good you are and how superior that makes you in comparison, you are good.
Actually being good (helping the weak, donating to charity, creating jobs for people) are not seen as good acts, or they aren’t as good as virtue signaling.
The act of doing good takes second place to letting everyone know you are good.
Why you shouldn’t be a nice guy
Nice guys finish last.
It is a cliche but it’s the truth.
When you make it your life’s goal to show to everyone how harmless you are, you inevitably will get stepped upon.
While you may be friendly with many people, you will not have many friends.
This is because nice guys tend to stink of hopelessness, entitlement, and resentment.
They are hopeless because they have no true future ahead of them.
They are entitled because they think the world is owed to them.
They are resentful because they end up with nothing.
Nice guys inevitably end up unhappy because they are living a life that is philosophically erroneous.
They are living according to beliefs that hold only half-truths.
To be good is a valiant pursuit, it just must be followed with some nuance and integrity.
Do not allow yourself to be stepped on by everyone,
Do not allow yourself to be silent when you disagree.
Seek to end a conflict, not flee it outright.
Help yourself before you help others.
Never think you’re the good guy.
Improve yourself until you die.
If you do these things, you will never be a “nice guy”.
You may end up a good man, though.
Have questions? Comment below or hit me up on Twitter/Instagram!
or
Enrichen your favorite Patriarch.
I always was concerned in this topic and still am, thanks for putting up.
Wow ! That wa worth a read. Thanks for sharing