The Finsub

A new species of human is quickly evolving: the finsub.

Homo Walleticus

Homo Walleticus is a new offshoot of homo sapiens, characterized by a diminutive stature and submissive demeanor as well as a strong urge to please an “Alpha”. It is hypothesized that this creature represents a de-evolution in the line of humans, though further evidence is required.

Physical Traits

Finsubs as a group have no discernable group features except for a submissive expression of body language. Their shoulders tend to be more hunched, their bodies all tight so as to take as little space as possible, their gazes tend to stay glued to the floor or to their phone.

A minority of finsubs don’t possess this level of submissive demeanor but they are the exception,  not the rule. These finsubs can even be mistaken for Alphas, though they generally correct such incorrect assumptions.


The defining trait that is shared across all permutation of the finsub is the tribute. All finsubs tribute. If they didn’t tribute, they wouldn’t be a finsub but a more generic kind of sub.


Finsubs, like most human species, are omnivores (which means they can eat almost anything). What kind of foods a finsub will eat depend entirely on how much they’ve been financially ruined. The more the finsub has been ruined, the less varied diet they eat. A ruined finsub will eat ramen noodles, potatoes, rice, beans, cabbage and hot dogs while a finsub who hasn’t been reduced to a state of poverty can eat a much more normal diet.




Finsubs can be readily found online: Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, FetLife, Tumblr, the list goes on and on. The internet provides the finsubs with enough anonymity that they can explore the world on their terms whilst still enabling them to connect with an Alpha.

What behaviors have you observed in FinSubs?

Have questions? Comment below or hit me up on Twitter/Instagram!

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