I’m a Selfish Bastard… and I Love Being One

One of the most mysterious things I have ever encountered is the fact that the more I act in my own self-interest, the more I am rewarded.

The more I think and act for my self and only myself, the more I get in return.

The more of a bastard I allow myself to be (the more genuine I am), the more successful I become in turn.


If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you know a little about my good guy past.

Back then, I rarely acted in my own self-interest.

I would do things for others for the sake of helping others, for free.

No one ever reciprocated.

No one extended a helping hand, no one took pity on me.

If anything, they acted like they didn’t have to.

As if I wasn’t a human worthy of helping or of being paid back.

I was but a petty servant to M’Lord or M’Lady.

I was another disposable human for them to use.


The second I began to act like a KING, however, I was treated like a GOD.

And when I say I acted like a KING, I don’t mean bossy, bitchy, demanding, impossible to please.

I mean regal, high class, charming, undemanding of any respect yet earning all of it.

I valued myself as a person so everyone else couldn’t help but value me as well.

By being someone whose self-interest is important, I became someone important.


When you don’t think of yourself, no one else will think of you.

When you do think of yourself, everyone can’t help but think of you.


The best part is just how enjoyable being a selfish bastard can be.

I’ve never been as successful in dating as when I just let the asshole in me out.

There’s just something about the mixture of charm, arrogance, being a dick, and handsome features that men and women enjoy in a partner.


I used to have to try hard to get a date, now I have to try hard to get some time off.

Maybe I’ve just been lucky so far.

Maybe I’m just charming enough to make up for my own inherent selfishness.

Maybe I’m only interacting with completely subservient individuals.

This may very well just be a fluke.


Or maybe people like bastards such as myself much more than they would like to admit.


With characters like Tyler Durden, Bojack Horseman, Roger Sterling, Dr. House, Han Solo, Deadpool, Feris Bueler, Dorian Gray, John Galt, Tyrion Lannister, and Harvey Specter filling our screens, it’s difficult not to think that we love to hate assholes.

Hell, actors like Bruce Campbell and Nathan Fillion have made careers out of playing bastards and are adored for how convincingly they can play one.


I think one of the reasons why we love assholes is that they act in ways a lot of non-assholes wish they could act.

Bastards are conveniently located between good & evil, being neither but capable of both.

They act according to their desires, their ethics, and their morality.

They possess the ability (and the balls) to break the rules when everyone is watching so they are envied by the masses.

We wish we could be them.


Honestly, as one myself, being an asshole is one of life’s great pleasures.

I can’t recommend it enough.

Have questions? Comment below or hit me up on Twitter/Instagram!

You can also ask me questions anonymously on ask.fm

Enrichen your favorite Patriarch.

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