In the crazy world of human sexuality, fetishes and kinks are mentioned quite often interchangeably. In my experience as well as in the way we use them in conversation, however, they are not the same thing. Today I’d like to take the time to properly explain the differences between the two.
First off: Fetishes.
A fetish is a form of desire wherein a particular object, an item of clothing or a body part is highly valued in terms of sexual pleasure. Fetishes started as part of various tribal cultures, they were objects that were supposed to hold supernatural powers or were to be worshipped. From there, the world of sexual deviancy took the word into its lexicon, adding the sexual connotation.
There are numerous popular fetishes; feet, lingerie, money, watches, asses, breasts, muscles, sports cars, suits, uniforms. The important thing to remember is that the power of the sexual fetish is in the object, body part or clothing, not it’s use.
A kink is an activity that elicits a stronger than normal sexual response in an individual. It can be any activity, from the mundane to the exotic, what truly matters is that the activity is done by or done to the person. The word started out meaning a flaw, but has since gone on to be used to describe wild sexual activities.
Popular kinks include: worshipping various body parts, feminization, objectification, public humiliation, being restrained physically, being choked, FinDom, glory holes, and spanking,
If you see a dildo and it makes you stiff as stone, you have a fetish.
If you absolutely love being penetrated by a dildo, you have a kink.
If the sight of a pair of feet gets you going, you have a fetish. If you also want to lick those feet, you also have a kink.
There is a lot of overlap between kinks & fetishes, so don’t be too worried about mistakenly confusing the two. However, if you are trying to appear knowledgeable about BDSM and human sexuality, knowing the difference can be quite handy.
TLDR:
Fetish: sexual power exhibited by an object or thing over an individual.
Kink: an activity that elicits a stronger than average sexual response in an individual.
You can have both a kink and fetish at the same time (the sight of lingerie turns you on, but you also like crossdressing because how it makes you feel.
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